Fluffy Pony General

>After six months, the Fluffy Pony you adopted has been house-trained, can swim a little and is...

Tue, 17 Apr 2012 01:04:09 -0400

>After six months, the Fluffy Pony you adopted has been house-trained, can swim a little and is generally the only bright spot in your otherwise endless grind of a life.
>Decide that, working 6 days a week, you really do need another pony or two to keep little Vodka happy during the day.
>Drive for three hours to find a nice adoption center.

>Little Vodka is waving like the damn Pope to the other ponies.
>Ask giant black man behind counter if you can adopt one or two ponies for Vodka as friends.
>Asks if ponies really do explode and/or die during sex and pregnancy.
>Giant Black Man says “Fucking internet. No, they don’t.”
>Fucking Yes.
>Buy three more Ponies, another male, and two females.
>Figure when Spring rolls around, and breeding season starts, you’ll just keep the females indoors for the two-three weeks it takes.
>On way home, Vodka is hugging the other male, whom you think you’ll call Gin, on the back seat, both babbling about ‘Hugs’ and ‘Funnehs’.
>Females, Rum and Bourbon, are asleep in a pile.
>Life is fucking awesome.
>several days pass. You notice that while all four Ponies play well together, Gin and Vodka are always hugging each other.
>eh, fuck it, don’t care, they’re happy.
>Come home to find Rum and Bourbon playing with a ball. Ask where Vodka and Gin are.
>”Pwaying boy-game.” Rum replies glumly. Bourbon nods sadly.
>”Boy …. game?” You ask, confused. First spend ten minutes playing with Rum and Bourbon and cheer them up. Remind them that Friday is All-They-Can-Eat Spaghetti Night.
>You are a God to them.
>Spend the next 10 minutes trying to find Vodka and Gin. Where the fuck are they?
>Eventually hear ‘pomf’ing noises from your bedroom.
>Quietly stick your head around the door and look in.
>OHWADAFUQ?
>Boy-Game indeed!
>Now it all makes sense. Shortly after your first fluffy realised he wasn’t going to be hurt or abandoned, he ‘wuved you’. Took a few days to explain dry-humping your face wasn’t ‘wuv’.
>Vodka and Gin are humping each other tenderly on your pillow, going ‘Eenf eenf eenf’ and their fluff making that ‘pomf’ noise as they grind against each other.
>You wish your camera was working, this is like a train wreck.
>some minutes later, they finish.
>”Waaaaaah! No-no feels funneh!”
>”Waaaaaah! Sticky sticky!”
>Burn that fucking pillow …
>Walk away to make dinner. Also get yourself some anti-acids.
>Have to come get Vodka and Gin as they were still hugging each other and are now cemented together.
>Oh joy, dried pony fluids all over your bed. FFS.
>Pre-dinner bath for the boys to separate them. Try to hug each other in bath.
>Oh-no-you-fucking-don’t.
>During dinner , try to figure out how to explain to ponies that they are supposed to do that with the girls, not each other.
>Decide it’s not worth the headache.
>Clean them up after dinner, wipe off spaghetti sauce and let them use litter tray one last time before being locked into their sleeping room.
>go to bed .
>forgot to change the pillow.
>fuck.
>wake up next morning, go out to find Vodka and Gin staring out the window, leaning on each other and going “Wah!” at the dawn.
>Ah who cares if they’re gay, they’re happy.
>Look around for Rum and Bourbon.
>See Push-Me Pull-Me Pony version wandering around, courtesy of a cucumber.
>Fuck this.
>go back to bed.
>Forgot to change the pillow. Again.
>Fuck.

Can my penis fit into a fluffy pony's mouth?

Sun, 15 Apr 2012 22:58:21 -0400

Yes, but may god have mercy on your seed.

>Watching the Simpsons>Your orange fluffy Pony comes sprinting into the room at a blistering 3...

Sat, 14 Apr 2012 09:28:49 -0400

>Watching the Simpsons
>Your orange fluffy Pony comes sprinting into the room at a blistering 3 mph
>”Daddy! Hewp fwuffy! Meanie munstah chasing fwuffy!”
>A bee flies in after the pony
>You scoop her up in your arms
>Open the window and shoo bee out
>Shut the window
>”You saved me daddy! Fwuffy wuv you!”
>Ask her why the “munstah” came after her
>”I twy give munstah huggies, but munstah is meanie… twy huwt…. fwuffy…”
>The escapade had exhausted her
>She falls asleep in your arms
>You lay her down in her little bed
>Fix spaghetti

>Get Jenga to play with fluffy >Show fluffy how to build the tower >Try to explain the...

Fri, 13 Apr 2012 18:01:43 -0400

>Get Jenga to play with fluffy
>Show fluffy how to build the tower
>Try to explain the rules, kind of a futile exercise but whatever
>Go first, pull a block out and put it on top, as you do in Jenga
>It’s fluffy’s turn. He knows you try to remove a block without making the tower fall, that much he remembers. Obviously, because his hooves are too big and uncoordinated, he fails and the whole thing falls over.
>Pretend to get upset, remind fluffy what happens when he breaks your things
>Fluffy can’t comprehend that the tower is meant to collapse
>Punish/abuse/beat/whatever you planned to do to the fluffy. You probably could have just done that from the start, but I guess you’re into mind games. Mind games with a fluffy. You must feel so smart.
>Rebuild Jenga tower somewhere where the fluffy plays. He’s almost guaranteed to accidentally knock it over again.
>Lather, rinse, re-beat.

>”Why no magic? Why no fwy?” your earth pony asks you.>”I hate our neighbors.” you...

Fri, 13 Apr 2012 17:29:08 -0400

>”Why no magic? Why no fwy?” your earth pony asks you.
>”I hate our neighbors.” you reply.
>Your earth pony doesn’t understand and goes back to sulking in your lap.
>Earth ponies are often overlooked in favor of the other two breeds.
>She is the only earth pony in the neighborhood.
>Earth pony.
>An idea forms in your mind.
>You teach your pony how to grow a plant.
>She’s pretty good at it.
>You help her present the plant to her friends and she explains how she grew it.
>The other fluffies are impressed and your fluffy is very proud of herself.
>You buy her some seeds and let her spend some more time in your backyard.
>Suddenly your neighbors are quite jealous of the lavish garden she has grown for you.
>This little pony can grow anything.
>She develops a fluffy mark of a sprouting seed.
>You often catch her babbling to the plants, encouraging them to grow.
>One day she scampers out the doggie door you installed for her and doesn’t come in for lunch.
>She probably fell asleep again.
>You find your fluffy pony laying on the ground with most of her head stuck inside a peculiar plant.
>You pull her out and discover that she’s dead.
>You take a picture of the plant and ask Google to tell you what it is.
>It’s a carnivorous pitcher plant, which you stomp into paste.
>So much grief.
>How did she get the seeds for that?
>You suspect that one of your jealous neighbors might have thrown the seeds over your fence one night.
>Enraged, you go to the adoption center and get a new earth fluffy.
>She is in no way interested in growing plants and doesn’t care that she can’t use magic or fly.
>You take it upon yourself to maintain the garden in the memory of your first fluffy pony.

>the three fluffy ponies wake up almost simultaneously. their wide eyes adjusting to the...

Fri, 13 Apr 2012 17:28:44 -0400

>the three fluffy ponies wake up almost simultaneously. their wide eyes adjusting to the light.
>”why bottom huwty?”
>the other two ponies can’t manage more than “mmmph!”
>Doctor Johann Scrotalskin von Hilter cackles and rubs his hands together menacingly.
>fluffy ponies realize what happened to them after Doctor von Hilter fed them last night.
>fluffy pony #1 has had fluffy pony #2’s mouth and cheeks surgically attached to his anus.
>fluffy pony #3 has had his mouth and cheeks surgically attached to pony #2’s anus.
>Doctor von Hilter has created the Fluffy Ponipede.
>all three fluffy ponies freak out and try running around the room. their stubby legs unable to work in tandem, they fall over.
>”owie!”
>Doctor von Hilter cackles again and grabs pony #1.
>”doctah meanie! huwt fwuffies! bottom huwts!”
>”Eat. Eat!”
>Doctor von Hilter pours a can of chili down the pony’s throat. It gags, crying.
>”no nummies! no taste good! pwease no mowe bad fwoods!”
>the evil Doctor von Hilter now shoves Burger King onion rings, some shitaki mushrooms and a handful of brussels sprouts in pony #1’s mouth. it gags it all down.
>”Now… the final ingredient!”
>a huge-ass bar of chocolate laxative.
>the fluffy pony deepthroats that chocolate bar like nobody’s business.
>”Now, my Fluffy Ponipede… feed them! FEED THEM!”
>”fwuffy no undahstand… what fwuffy supposed to… hnnnggg…”
>Doctor von Hilter is grinning like a maniac.
>”YES! Feed them!”
>”no… wan… make bad pwoopies… in fwens…”
>fluffy pony #2 and #3 seem to realize what is about to happen to them. they might be a little more intuitive than thought.
>fluffy pony #2 and #3 scramble backwards to get away from #1’s bulging rectum… but the sutures are strong and their legs are weak.
>fluffy pony #1 finally cannot hold out any longer.
>BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORP
>a power stream of diarrhea jets out of its anus into the mouth of fluffy pony #2
>fluffy pony #1 is exhausted and collapses on the floor, panting.
>moments later, fluffy #3 receives its own chocolate jetstream from fluffy pony #2.
>BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARP
>fluffy pony #2 also collapses, unconscious.
>fluffy pony #3 sprays its own Jackson Pollack artwork all over the floor and walls.
>Doctor von Hilter smiles evilly and walks over to fluffy pony #3, patting it on the head.
>”Very good… VERY good! Muh hah hah!”
>you turn off the movie. should have known better than to rent this. gross.
>at least you didn’t rent A Serbian Pony.

> You’re in the lounge watching TV> Suddenly, you feel a tightness in your chest>...

Sat, 31 Mar 2012 12:22:05 -0400

> You’re in the lounge watching TV
> Suddenly, you feel a tightness in your chest
> Shooting pains down your left arm
> You try and stand up, but feel light-headed and collapse to the floor
> Fluffy pony sees your distress
> She runs over and starts hugging you, it’s the only way she can think of to help
> “Call 911” you manage to croak out
> Fluffy pony suddenly has a moment of understanding
> She’s seen people do this on TV
> If she calls 911, people will come in an ambulance and help you
> She runs over to the phone, and manages to lift the handset with her mouth
> Suddenly, she panics
> She realises she doesn’t know what number ‘nine’ is
> Or ‘one’
> She mashes her hooves against the keypad in desperation
> Gets connected to a call centre in India
> A few hours later, your neighbour drops by to return a DVD he borrowed
> He finds your dead body in the lounge
> Fluffy pony is still on the phone
> She’s dancing to the hold music, oblivious to your fate

>you are standing in front of a fairly ordinary house in the suburbs >you sigh >you hate...

Sat, 31 Mar 2012 11:58:17 -0400

>you are standing in front of a fairly ordinary house in the suburbs
>you sigh
>you hate your job
>you walk up to the house
>you pass through the door
>you sense target is in the living room
>you enter the living room
>your mood instantly improves
>your target is an orange fluffy pony with matching eyes
>she is sitting in the center of the room
>staring uncomprehendingly at the corpse of a dead fluffy pony
>her own corpse
> “don’t think about it sweetie, you couldn’t figure it out if you tried.”
>she turns to you and yelps in surprise
>she tries to hide behind her own corpse
>so cute
> “it’s alright, I won’t hurt you”
>she instantly believes you and trots up to you
>she stops a foot away from you and looks up at you confused
> “whew face?”
>you chuckle
>you love fluffy ponies
>they are the only thing that makes your job worth doing
>you’re glad that you get to see them so often
>you hear something
>Fluffy pony’s owner enters the room
> “Oh get up you lazy piece of shit! I didn’t hit you that hard!”
>you pick the fluffy pony and stow her in your robe
>the owner only now realises that he beat his pet to death
> “Oh great! Now I have to get another!”
>no you won’t
>you snap your fingers
>you’ve just given him advanced testicular cancer
>you walk out of the house petting the fluffy pony
>you think you’ll keep this one, fluffy heaven was getting cramped anyway
>sometimes it’s good to be death

>1943.>Germany.>A team of special forces comprised of the best of the best from the US,...

Sat, 31 Mar 2012 11:48:08 -0400

>1943.
>Germany.
>A team of special forces comprised of the best of the best from the US, British, and Canadian army stand in a dense forest a few dozen meters outside of a bunker in an undisclosed location in Germany.
>With them are two fluffy ponies.
>They have spent the last two hours rubbing the fluffy ponies together.
>Ponies have little gags on to stifle their giggles.
>Only two soldiers are handling this. They’re wearing rubber gloves and protective suits.
>Other soldiers are staying well away.
>A few more hours of rubbing pass.
>It’s time.
>Another guy, a lockpicking specialist, joins the two that were rubbing the ponies together.
>They make a slow march towards the bunker under the cover of nightfall. It is excruciatingly long.
>Finally they are there.
>Door on the bunker is picked.
>Gags on the ponies are removed.
>They are told about their new game and set loose.
>Ponies wander inside of the bunker for awhile, until they see a tall, dark haired man with a funny little mustache. He is looking over some papers.
>”Pway!” they say. “Hugs!” “Are you my daddy?”
>The man turns around, and, clearly a lover of animals, beams with joy.
>”Mein gott!” he says, and runs forward to embrace the tiny, adorable horses.
>He kneels down and buries his face between their fluffy bodies.
>Half a day’s worth of static electricity suddenly discharges.
>Hitler explodes like a gerbil in a microwave.

>In cleveland>Out running errands with fluffy pony>Trying to make a deposit at the...

Fri, 30 Mar 2012 17:30:51 -0400

>In cleveland
>Out running errands with fluffy pony
>Trying to make a deposit at the drive-thru bank window
>The send over a canister through the pneumatic tube
>Your roll down the window and grab the canister
>As you unscrew the cap, fluffy pony jumps on your lap
>Before you can stop it, it’s jumped out the window
>”Fwuffy wan go tube!”
>you reach out to grab it but it’s too late, it’s gotten it’s head into the pneumatic tube
>You hear the crunch of bones and a deep “Fwoomp!”
>Fluffy pony is gone
>Drive off quickly, knowing US Bank, there’s a 35 dollar fee for this
>Deposit check at another branch

>fluffy pony eats a magnet>cheerfully trotting down the road>oblivious to her surroundings,...

Thu, 29 Mar 2012 17:36:26 -0400

>fluffy pony eats a magnet
>cheerfully trotting down the road
>oblivious to her surroundings, as usual
>car drives by
>pony flies through the air and sticks to the side of the car
>several months later, fluffy pony is back at your door step
>it’s covered in bumper stickers from every state

>you own a fluffy pony >one day, you forget to close the knife drawer >fluffy pony crashes...

Sat, 24 Mar 2012 14:45:43 -0400

>you own a fluffy pony
>one day, you forget to close the knife drawer
>fluffy pony crashes into drawer
>oh fuck
>knives rain down upon fluffy pony
>there’s no way he could have survived that
>you shed a solitary tear
>you start to pick up the knives
>fluffy pony pops out of the pile, unharmed
>”Knifies fun!”
>apparently yours is one of those invincible fluffy ponies you’ve heard about
>the next day, you get out of bed and walk to the kitchen
>fluffy pony is banging his head into the cabinet below your knife drawer
>”Fwuffy wan’ knifies!”
>you’re not going to risk him dying
>you shoo him out of the kitchen
>fluffy pony starts trying to hurt himself in other ways
>you lock him in his safety room
>fluffy pony starts hitting himself with his hooves and biting himself, giggling the whole time
>you decide to get a female fluffy pony to distract him from this
>you go to the fluffy pony dealership, pick up a female fluffy pony, and bring it home
>your fluffy pony is trying to stab itself with a toothpick it found on the ground
>he stops doing that and runs over to you
>he sees the fluffy pony you brought home and is overjoyed
>”New fwend! Fwuffy wan’ pway!”
>you let the two fluffy ponies get acquainted while you go watch some tv
>during a commercial break, you go into the kitchen to get some snacks
>on the way, you see your fluffy ponies
>the female one is beating the male one up
>both of them are happy and giggling
>”Fwuffy wuv dis game!”
>jesus fucking christ
>fluffy pony s&m, all day, err day
>this drives you to suicide
>fluffy ponies are found and taken in by crazy motherfucker who jacks off to them hurting each other

>[fluffy pony] is eating from her bowl, smacking her little fluffy lips with her eager chowing...

Sat, 24 Mar 2012 14:40:00 -0400

>[fluffy pony] is eating from her bowl, smacking her little fluffy lips with her eager chowing down
>you try to ignore it as you drink your coffee and watch the news
>your fluffy pony finishes her food and climbs up on the couch
>with her dirty hooves
Get off the couch, [fluffy pony]
>she bounces her forelegs on your thigh “Wan pway!”
>ignoring your order, she hops into your lap
>knocking your cup and spilling your drink all over the armrest
>grabbing her by the scruff of her neck, she seems to have a fleeting memory of what happens next
>she starts running in the air, “n-no sowwy-stick! Pwease daddy, no sow-“
>you toss her into her safety room and retrieve the broom
>swinging overhead, you bring the worn head down on her back
>she yelps and tries to scamper away but you’ve lifted her off the ground like a spatula
STUPID FUCKING PONY, THAT COUCH COST MORE THAN A HUNDRED OF YOU
>she’s gibbering broken baby-talk about the implement of your wrath
>you shove her teary-eyed face into the bristles, scraping back and forth
THAT COFFEE? THREE OF YOU! THE SORRY STICK IS WORTH FIVE!
>you hold her up by the tail and start jabbing her soft belly with the wooden handle
AM I GETTING THROUGH TO YOU?
>she’s trying to speak through hiccuping terrified tears but stuttering too much to speak properly
IS IT BECAUSE YOU DON’T LOVE ME ENOUGH TO PAY ATTENTION?
>”W-wuv! W-w-wuv daddy!”
LIKE SHIT YOU DO
>you drop the fluffy pony
>she immediately retreats to her little nest of blankets, hiding in the folds
You’re going to stay in here until I clean the coffee off, and don’t expect play time today
>stepping over the plastic gate, you hear [fluffy pony] whimper “why sowwy-stick for twying huggies?”

>Something wakes you up>You roll over and turn on a light>Fluffy pony’s on your bed,...

Fri, 23 Mar 2012 12:05:05 -0400

>Something wakes you up
>You roll over and turn on a light
>Fluffy pony’s on your bed, tapping you franticly
>You ask her what the hell she’s doing
>She makes a gurgling noise and vomits all over you
>She says “sowie” and hugs your chest, inadvertently lying down in the vomit and smearing it into her fluff and your shirt
>seethe with rage
>look down
>fluffy pony looks so much happier now that its not feeling sick anymore
>looks so adorable lying next to you
>”Aw, I love you fluffy pony, even though your gross”
>”I space pony” she says as she sleeps

>pissed off by the end of Mass Effect 3>go to Bioware main offices and demand to speak to the...

Fri, 23 Mar 2012 06:00:05 -0400

>pissed off by the end of Mass Effect 3
>go to Bioware main offices and demand to speak to the writing staff
>you are ushered into the writers room
>you don’t believe your eyes
>room is full of fluffy ponies, playing, eating spaghetti, and generally being adorable
>”These are the writers?” you ask
>”Oh no. These are just the guys who write our endings.”
>choruses of “star chiwd” and “sinfessin” sound around the room
>realize that you have had your jimmies rustled by fluffy ponies
>spaghetti starts falling out of pockets
>fluffy ponies eat spaghetti
>one of them looks up at you
>”shepawd dwons”

>you hate fluffy ponies - like REALLY HATE hate ‘em bro >man, if you ever SEE a fluffy...

Fri, 23 Mar 2012 05:00:06 -0400

>you hate fluffy ponies - like REALLY HATE hate ‘em bro
>man, if you ever SEE a fluffy pony bro you’re gonna stomp its shitty head in bro
>you’ll be all like *stompstompstompstomp* and it’ll be all like “wah I’m retarded and stupid pway wah retarded” and you’ll laugh because you don’t give a FUCK bro
>in fact bro
>in fact you’re gonna go to the fluffy pony park and break a couple of their necks just for a laugh cuz you don’t give a fuck what they think - you can do whatever you want bro
>whatever the fuck you want
>yeah there’s one now bro - sit tight while you stomp this shit like a ketchup packet in the school cafeteria bro
>look down at fluffy pony as it’s all waddling up to you, getting up in your biznass, bro
>yeah gonna stomp on it and it’s gonna feel so GOOD bro
>he gives you them big eyes like fluffy ponies do and he’s all “Ey yo you wanna play with me, bro?”
>you’re all “SHIT YEAH I’LL PLAY WITH YA LITTLE BRO!” and you and that fluffy pony are all UP in that playground’s shit bro
>you’re rockin’ the sandbox one minute making bomb-ass sand castles and shit and then you’re like “let’s shake shit up a little, bro!” and you’re all up on that sweet-ass SLIDE bro
>fluffy pony’s all actin’ scared and shit because it’s such a tall motherfuckin’ slide, but you got his back bro - you’re all pickin’ him up and puttin’ him in your lap where it’s all safe and shit bro
>ain’t nothin’ bad gonna happen to your little fluffy homie on YOUR watch, bro
>you climb up to the top and slide ALL the way down bro
>ALL the way fuckin’ DOWN bro
>but then it starts gettin late bro - the fluffy pony has to bounce on back to its crib and commence its evening program of scheduled chilling bro
>it’s all like “ey yo you gonna be here tomorrow and play with me more, bro?”
>you’re like “SHIT YEAH This was the best afternoon EVER, bro!”
>Fuckin’ E to the V to the E to the motherfuckin’ R, bro.

>you were the first guy on your street to get a fluffy pony >you had to travel out of state to...

Thu, 22 Mar 2012 23:45:11 -0400

>you were the first guy on your street to get a fluffy pony
>you had to travel out of state to get her
>she was a light blue earth fluffy with C fluffy mark
>c was the first letter she learned how to say, while she was trying to get a cookie from you
>you named her Cookie and you loved her more than anything
>all of your friends would come over and want to pet her and feed her cookies, you obliged as fluffy ponies were nearly impossible to get in your town
>you love to watch as Cookie prances about innocently, causing many hnnng inducing moments
>your friend Steve’s the first one of your friends to get his own fluffy ponies, a little orange unicorn he calls Bucky
>he’s excited to bring it in and have it play with Cookie
>Cookie and Bucky hit it off right away, hugging the moment they see each other and babbling ‘fwiend’ over and over again
>you take yours eyes off them for a moment to talk shop with the boys, leaving the two to play in the safe room you made for Cookie
>about halfway through Steve’s diatribe about why the movie he went to see last Thursday sucks, you hear it
>a whining noise coming from the safe room
>you all rush over to see the commotion
>Bucky is rapidly humping behind a frantic Cookie, who lies down on her tummy, unable to get up as Bucky does his job
>Bucky looks just as confused, unable to comprehend what is happening
>”why hurt?” Bucky calls out
>you manage to rush in just in time for Bucky to reach orgasm
>he finishes the task and falls over
>you rush over to Cookie to make sure she is okay, while Steve tends to Bucky
>Bucky is dead
>Steve comes over to you and puts his arm on your shoulder
>”I’m sorry.” he says

>”Why are you sorry? Cookie’s not dead.”
>he sighs sadly and explains that after a fluffy pony impregnates another, the pregnant fluffy will explode when it comes to term, giving birth to the new fluffies
>your eyes grow wide with fear as he explains
>Cookie is back up, and has completely forgot the incident with Bucky
>she waddles over to Bucky’s corpse
>”Why no pway?” she asks the corpse
>you ask Steve why he brought Bucky over if he knew this
>Steve thought Bucky was fixed
>you become inconsolable
>Steve explains that fluffy pregnancy comes to term in about a week
>Cookie keeps trying to get Bucky to play with her
>Bucky is the only other fluffy pony she’s ever know, and she doesn’t want to lose him
>she begins to cry over the other fluffy pony’s body
>try to ask if you can give Cookie an abortion or something
>Steve says fluffy pony bodies can’t handle the strain an abortion puts on it
>you can’t take this knowledge
>you kindly ask everyone to go
>retreat to the safe room, Cookie still sad about Bucky
>cuddle with Cookie, both of you crying your eyes out

>you spend the next week just watching Cookie play
>try to explain to her what’s going to happen
>she couldn’t comprehend the concept of her own mortality, but when she heard you say baby fluffy ponies she started to cheer happily that she would ‘love them, and hug them, and name them George.’
>you can’t take trying to explain it to her anymore so you just decide to let it go
>your friends come over to help you and pay their last respects to Cookie
>Steve tries to come over but you won’t let him back, you’re still pissed
>the others try to cheer you up by saying you’ll have a bunch of new baby fluffies to play with afterwards
>you tell them you can’t do that, it’ll be too soon
>offer to give the newborns to your friends for them to take care of
>the day finally comes for Cookie to ‘deliver’
>the pregnancy didn’t show at all during the week, but now you can clearly see that Cookie has begun to swell in size
>she can’t waddle around anymore, her legs flailing about as she lies down in her safe room
>you calm her down by feeding her from your hand and stroking her fluff
>your friends are there, prepared to take the newborns away as soon as it’s done, just as you requested
>Cookie looks at you as you hold her this last time
>somehow, she begins to comprehend her situation, the pain becoming to great for her to bear
>”pwease, taek cawe of cooki’s babes…”
>with that she swells once more and bursts like a balloon, fur raining everywhere
>from the center of the fluffsplosion, five little fluffies cling to each other, crying as they take their first breaths
>crying for a mother who can’t help them

>fluffy pony is playing with one of the old baby toys you bought for her>she burbles happily,...

Thu, 22 Mar 2012 23:39:21 -0400

>fluffy pony is playing with one of the old baby toys you bought for her
>she burbles happily, but is stumped with trying to fit a square peg into the triangle hole
>it seems apropos as you grease up
>you crawl over to fluffy pony, erection swinging between your legs
>without a word you flip fluffy pony over
>”Wah! Pway new game?”
>you lower yourself, rubbing your savagely pulsing erection against her soft belly
>fluffy pony is still giggling and thinking its just a belly rub
>you grab the fluff of her head roughly and began grinding harder
>”Owchies! No puh! No puh!”
>you’re getting closer, and you tell fluffy pony to open her mouth for a ‘special treat’
>door opens
>roommate and his girlfriend walk in
>after a moment of shock they start laughing hysterically
>you start crying, but blow your load into fluffy pony’s waiting mouth
>why do you smell tomato sauce
>spaghetti shot from your urethra!
>fluffy pony squeals in joy and latches onto your dick, sucking like a tiny vacuum cleaner
>roommate and whore laughing
>you ejaculate again while fluffy pony chokes out “wuv skapetties” through a mouthful of sauce-caked cock
>diarrhea starts, the force of which propels you out the window, flying like an out of control model rocket exposing your shame to the entire apartment complex
>crash and die
>fluffy pony finds better owner, still tries to fellate for more spaghetti

>you fantasize about kidnapping a small child and raping her until she loves you before you...

Thu, 22 Mar 2012 23:36:48 -0400

>you fantasize about kidnapping a small child and raping her until she loves you before you finally kill her
>but you’re too much of a pussy to even think about acting on it
>so you get a fluffy pegasus pony
>you have a ton of children’s toys in your house anyway
>it sounds like a little kid, thinks like you figure a little kid would think
>you wouldn’t really know - you haven’t seen one in anything but your porn since you got maced at a chuck-e-cheese a few years back, but you tell yourself it works well enough
>it keeps running around saying it wants to play or eat or some shit, while you throw the “caregivers’ guide” you got at the adoption center in the trash
>drop your pants and grab it by the legs, saying you’re going to play a “special game” with it
>spread its back legs apart while it cheers, “Yay! We pwaying!”
>it has hair down there
>what little you had of your erection is instantly gone
>Fuck!

>fuck it, you decide - you’ll just use your hands.
>you can’t find anything back there - it’s just a mass of fluff.
>fluffy pony asks what game you’re playing - tell it to shut the fuck up while you root around in its fluff, looking for the pussy
>you sink your arm in up to the elbow, but you can’t feel anything solid under all the fluff - you can even tell if you’re near its real body
>godfuckit, WHERE is it?!
>you sink your arm in deeper
>your hand comes out the other side as fluffy pony giggles
>”Hands tickle fwuffy!”
>becoming increasingly frustrated
>can’t maintain an erection with the image of all that disgusting HAIR in your mind
>try a different strategy
>it’s stupid - it should do what you tell it to, right?
>try telling it to play with your balls
>it cheers, squirming out of your hands and toddling off to play with your collection of rubber balls
>Fuck!!

>you coat your dick with a teaspoon of peanut butter (enough to cover the whole thing) but it just says “Fwuffy no wike peenut bubber” and wanders off to play with some blocks
>you try everything - but it’s not doing what you want it to
>why won’t it do what you want it to???
>this is nothing like your porn makes it look like!
>Hell with this
>you hold fluffy pony up to the wall and tell it you’re going to play an extra special game
>it cheers as you hold a nail up to its stubby forelimb and ready the hammer
>this will be so sweet, punishing the little tease for making you so frustrated and not being the slut you wanted it to be
>you drive the nail in, ready to savor the screams of pain and the gush of blood
>none comes - fluffy pony just giggles
>you let go, and the nail slides through the fluff, letting it drop to the floor
>you try again
>and again
>and again
>finally you decide to put it through its head
>right between the eyes
>the nail pops out the back of its head and falls through the fluff of its back, dropping to the floor with a clink as fluffy pony giggles obliviously
>Fuck!!!

>”You funny! Dis game fun!”
>it tries to hug your leg
>enough is e-fucking-nough
>tear fluffy pony from your leg and throw it into the wall
>it bounces off, gurgling happily and yelling “Bouncy-time!”
>you try again
>and again
>and again
>finally, after four throws, your flabby arms are burning with exhaustion
>you grab fluffy pony again, and try slamming its head into the mantlepiece
>you’re so exhausted, you can’t even build up any force, and it bounces harmlessly off, still giggling
>after resting for three hours and taking some aspirin to counter the burning in your arms, you decide to kill fluffy pony the one way you’re sure will work
>fill the bathtub, and throw fluffy pony in
>fluffy pony swims in a circle in the warm water, giggling happily and holding up its stubby wings like sails
>”Fwuffy is piwate ship! Abas’ ye!”
>FUCK!!!!

>you scream in frustration while fluffy pony babbles the tune to “the Sailor’s Hornpipe” and plays “battleship” with a rubber ducky that you try choking it with a minute later to shut it up
>it just swallows it
>three days pass
>you can’t strangle it, the fluff protects its neck and it thinks you’re tickling it
>you can’t rip off its wings, you can’t get a grip on the fluff and your hands slip right off
>pulling out and cutting off tufts of fluff doesn’t work, they just grow right back or reattach
>how the fuck does it even do that?!
>beating it doesn’t work - the blows bounce right off its fluffy body
>starving it doesn’t work - it keeps getting spaghetti from somewhere, even though you never bother to feed it
>you even tried shooting it
>the bullet went right through and into the floor
>fluffy pony thinks you’re playing a game
>holding its head underwater doesn’t work - it just drinks it all!
>fluffy pony burps
>FUCK!!!!!

>it’s been a week
>you sit in the middle of your living room, staring at this cute little abomination that refuses to bleed, cry, or die, while it babbles to itself, playing with a block-and-hole toy
>fluffy pony smiles at you
>”You nice! Pway fun games wif’ fwuffy! Fwuffy wuv daddy!”
>hearing those words, your mind finally breaks.
>Fuck this
>fuck your porn that made you think it was easy to torture something helpless
>fuck your fucked-up brain chemistry and upbringing that turned you into a sadistic pedophile hiding inside a passive-aggressive weakling’s body
>fuck the adoption center
>fuck this fluffy pony that thinks you’re playing with it and loves you in spite of everything you’ve tried to do to it
>but most of all
>fuck your life
>fuck everything
>pull the trigger and paint the ceiling with your brain
>a neighbor hears the gunshot and alerts the police
>your door is broken down to find your bloated, pasty, headless corpse lying on the floor, with a little pink fluffy pegasus pony sleeping on your distended gut
>she wakes up, and cheerfully toddles up to the newcomers
>”Hi! You come pway too?”
>A kindly old woman who lives in your neighborhood takes in the fluffy pony, who lives for many happy years in a loving home
>when she passes away, one of her daughters takes it in
>it passes away from old age as a beloved family pet
>you are forced to watch this in Hell
>Fuck.

>Had a long week at work>Decide to let off some steam by killing a fluffy pony>Stop at the...

Wed, 21 Mar 2012 18:32:58 -0400

>Had a long week at work
>Decide to let off some steam by killing a fluffy pony
>Stop at the fluffy pony shelter on your way home and pick one up
>Get home, pour out a bowl of bleach for fluffy pony
>Tell her to drink it, or she won’t get any spaghetti
>Fluffy pony begins lapping away eagerly
>No apparent distress
>Finishes the bowl,lets out a small burp
>“Beach yummy! Fwuffy have pagetti now?”
>You’re somewhat taken aback
>Sniff at the bottle, to check you hadn’t refilled it with water or something
>No, definitely bleach
>Guess you’ll have to deal with fluffy pony another way
>Start filling the kitchen sink
>Grab fluffy pony by the scruff of her neck
>Hold her above the water
>“Yay! Baff tiem! Baff tiem!” she babbles
>Force her under the water
>Fluffy pony’s stubby legs start wriggling
>After a while, they stop
>Give her another minute, just to be sure
>Pull her out
>Fluffy pony says “Fwuffy haf happy swim!”
>This is getting ridiculous
>Go to the closet, get out your golf clubs
>Choose a nine iron
>Back to the kitchen
>Fluffy pony is eating spaghetti out of a bowl with ‘Fluffy’ written on it
>You didn’t cook her any spaghetti
>Where the hell did she get the bowl from?
>Unleash into fluffy pony with full force
>Swing with your back, not your wrists
>Fluffy pony flies through the air screaming “Wheeeeeee!”
>Hits the wall, bounces off, toddles back over to her bowl
>Bring the club down in an overhead arc
>Fluffy pony’s body crumples under the blow, then bounces right back
>The fuck?
>Days go by
>You’re at your wit’s end
>This god damned fluffy pony will not die, she just bumbles about spewing her inane babble about >“Pway!” and “Bawl”
>More and more fluffy pony toys are appearing about your house
>Knives go straight into her fluff and slide back out; it doesn’t even feel like you hit her body
>Fluffy pony’s fluff appears to be fireproof
>When you locked her in the freezer for a day, she just made a snowman
>She even found some coal and a carrot
>The microwave just made her say “Fwuffy toastie-warm”
>None of the poisons you’ve tried have had any effect
>Nailing her to the wall gave you about an hours peace, then she got free
>Later, you couldn’t find the nail or the hole
>You thought you were getting somewhere when you lopped her legs of with boltcutters, but a minute later they were back
>You can’t tell whether she reattached them, or they grew back
>Neither would surprise you by this point
>Finally, you snap
>Fire kills everything, if you use enough of it
>Go to the garage, siphon the petrol out of your car into a bucket
>Walk into the kitchen where fluffy pony is playing with some blocks you sure as hell never bought
>Douse her in petrol
>This just elicits a response of “Splashy fun! Splashy fun!”
>Fluffy pony starts flicking petrol back at you
>Stand well back and throw a lit match at fluffy pony
>She lights up a treat
>No screams, just “Fwames pwetty!”
>She starts to run around the house, spreading fire as she goes
>You chase after her with a fire extinguisher
>She goes too fast for you to keep up
>Smoke fills the room, then your lungs
>You feel dizzy, and pass out
>The fire brigade eventually gets the fire under control before it spreads to any other houses
>Unfortunately, they didn’t make it to you in time
>Fluffy pony made it out OK, though
>One of the firemen takes pity on her, and lets her ride back to the station in the fire engine
>She stays there as a mascot
>Gets her own miniature fire helmet
>Is fed spaghetti three times a day, and hugged as much as she wants
>Fluffy pony drowns three weeks later